Cherish what you have
“It’s true isn’t it, the fact you have someone else?” Brenda looked at him with a sad smile on her face. The man didn’t say a word. He just stood there and looked down ashamed of what he did. “It’s alright. I knew no one would like someone like me…” She looked away. “I am still thankful of you being with me for quite a long time. I should probably leave. I don’t want to trouble you anymore.” She went to her room and started packing her stuff. The man went to follow her after a few minutes not knowing what to say. Brenda was holding back her tears like she always did. The man wanted to stop her but he didn’t think she would listen. Brenda stood up bringing her bag along. “I will take all my other stuff later.” Her voice sounded as if she was about to cry.
“Don’t leave…” He said not looking at her. She ignored it and walked out of the house. It started to rain but she couldn’t care less. She walked to the nearest bus station and sat on the bench soaking wet. She was crying but held back the sound. She put her hands on her face not wanting anyone to see. She knew it would happen but in her mind she kept wondering “Why?” Water drips from her hair and crashes to the ground. “Why can’t I stop crying?” She wiped her tears again and again but it won’t stop flowing. “Stop crying. No one is worth your tears, especially not yourself.”
An old woman came and sat by Brenda’s side. The old woman said “Oh child what had caused so many tears to fall from your eyes?” She pats Brenda her shoulder and pulled to a hug. The girl held on the ladies clothes and cried on her shoulder. “There…there…Do not hold your tears. Let it all out for tears left not cried shall leave the heart in pain.”
After a while Brenda stopped crying and looked at the aged lady. “Thank you.” She said even though her voice sounded unclear because of her sobbing. “I’m sorry I took a lot of your time.” She bowed her head for she felt embarrass towards the old lady.
“It’s alright, child.” The old woman pats her shoulder again. “Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on and I couldn’t leave a child to cry alone in the rain.” Brenda looked up and smiled, showing her gratefulness to the old woman. “What were you crying about child?” The old woman asked with concern. The girl looked away from the old woman and clasped her hands together.
“It was nothing actually. It’s just, I broke up with my fiancée because he cheated on me. It’s not like I couldn’t guess why, who would want a girl like me.” She wiped the tear that formed on her right eye.
“You would say the same thing to me if you met me along time ago when I was your age. I was an average girl with tons of flaws but now I’ve been married for 49 years. It wasn’t all happy but we made it through. Sadly during our 50th anniversary he died, leaving me a lonely widow.” The old woman sighed and smiled after that. “Still the good memories will live on with me till the day we meet again.” The woman looked up to the sky and smiled again but this time with a wishful look to it. Brenda looked at the woman feeling honored to meet such a loving person. The old woman looked at her up and down then she asked “Sorry child but may I ask where are you staying for this moment?”
‘I was planning on going to back home to my parents house. I was going to call my brother. Which reminds me do you know the house inn that’s near here? I heard it is really good and cozy. Do you know where it is? Brenda looked at the old woman to be greeted by a smile.
“Of course I do, child. I used to own the place with my husband but since he died my niece is helping me handle all the management.” The old lady puts her hands on the umbrella and leisurely stood up. “Would you like me to show you the way? It’s quite nearby. A few minutes walk through the rain before we reach it though.” The old lady opened her umbrella and asked the girl to join her. The girl took the offer and went with the old lady bringing her bag along. They walked through the heavy rain and saw a nice big cozy house with a sign board “Cozy and Warm is all everyone needs.” There was even a cute picture of a smile. “You should go in first child.” I’ll follow you later.” The old lady smiled at Brenda. She believed it and walked into the inn. Then a sound of a bell was heard.
“I’m sorry but do you have any free rooms for the time being,” She asked the lady behind the desk who was busy.
“Oh yes! We do can you please wait for a while I need to tell the chef to make a bowl of soup for our customer who is currently sick.” The lady bowed apologizing.
“No, it’s alright. I can wait.” Brenda smiled.
“Oh dear! You are soaking wet. You can use….” The lady searched under the desk and pulled out a towel. “Here use this to dry yourself first. We don’t want another one of our customers sick. Would you like a cup of hot chocolate or a cup of tea?” Brenda took the towel and started drying her hair.
“A cup of hot chocolate please.” She answered politely while smiling feeling the love and care the person had for everyone. The lady smiled and asked her to sit on one of the couches for a while until she comes back. “I see why people enjoy staying here so much. It feels like home.” She said it in her mind as she dried herself with the fluffy towel she received. Her eye slowly felt heavy and started to drift a sleep on the couch.
“Miss did you ask for a cup of hot chocolate?” Brenda was so shock that she hit her head on the wall behind the couch. “Are you all right, miss?” The little girl asked looking at her worriedly. “It’s alright .Just a bump on the head that’s all .She answered and looked down at the little girl giving a reassuring smile.
“Oh…” The little girl said looking totally adorable.
“I’m sorry but what were you saying just now.” Brenda asked looking at the cup of hot chocolate on the tray the little girl was holding.
“Is this your cup of hot chocolate? My mom sent me to give it to you since she’s kind of busy.” The little girl said it innocently. Brenda gave a nod.
“What’s your name little girl?” Brenda asked taking the cup of hot chocolate by the handle.
“My mom said, don’t tell strangers your name.” The little girl shook her head again and again slowly.
“My mom told me never to talk to strangers but you broke that already.” Brenda gave a mischievous smile to the little girl who was shocked of what she heard. “It’s okay. I’ll tell you my name first. My name is Brenda. What’s yours?” The little girl was hesitant at first to tell her until Brenda said “It’s common courtesy to introduce yourself before talking to someone.”
“My name is Julia.” The little girl said fiddling with her fingers.
“Nice to meet you, Julia. Would you like to have a short chat with me till your mom comes back?” Brenda pats the sit beside her. Julia gave a nod and sat on the couch. They had a nice chat about anything that came out of Julia’s mind. It was certainly delightful and enjoyable to talk to a child. Julia couldn’t stop making more interesting subjects to talk about from one after another. Her mother came after a while and apologized for the long wait. “No please don’t apologize. It’s actually been a very short wait with Julia here entertaining me.” Brenda patted Julia’s head softly and Julia grinned at her.
After she checked in she walked up to her room which was on the second floor. She was thinking about what the woman said to her before which was “You’re so lucky dear. We have a free room today because one of customer couldn’t make it. It has queens size with a nice view of the field below. It should help you calm down and relax. Here you go room number 5…” Brenda looked at her key and back to the number at the door. It was room number 5 indeed. She opened the nice dark oak door and went in.
She took off her shoes and put down her bag. She looked around the room and felt it was like home, nice and cozy. It had one bathroom with a bathtub and shower. The room was just nice not too big and too small. It had a queen size bed with nice translucent curtains which you could let down. It was soft to the touch. She saw the balcony and opened it to look at the view. She saw a mesmerizing sight of the field behind the inn which had lushes green grass growing especially after it rained. The rain drops fell from the sky and down to the earth covering the verdant grass with water to replenish its thirst. Oh how it shined, the way the sun reflected over the little drops of water and gave off a nice relaxing shine to it.
“Brenda? Is that you?” She heard someone calling her name from below. She looked down and saw it was her ex-boyfriend, who was certainly a sight for sore eyes.
“James….” She was surprise because she wasn’t expecting to see him in this part of town.
“It is you! Come down and have a chat with me!” He smiled dashingly like he always did. She shook her head and declined politely. “Come on Brenda for old time sake.” He gave a puppy dog face knowing she could never say no to that.
“Alright, you win. Just wait for a while. I need to take a bath and change.” She pointed at her wet clothes.
“This is going to take a while.” He said it, sighing trying to joke around with her. She glared at him and left to go get ready. He smiled and walked to the reception hall. After 15 minutes she was ready and walked out of her room to go meet James. “That didn’t take as long as I expected.” James said teasing Brenda. Brenda stuck out her tongue like a little kid with a tantrum, he chuckled. After that James invited Brenda to the café in the inn which was the nicest place to have an afternoon snack. They took a table that was outside so they can enjoy the beautiful view. They ordered two cups of tea and scones.
“How have you been doing, James? It’s been such a long time since I heard from you” Brenda put her head on her hand.
“Well not much really I’ve been busy with taking over my families business. I am currently working on a deal that’s why I’m here.” He smirked.
“You always know what I’m thinking, don’t you James.” She chuckled
“Well being your best friend since primary school and boyfriend for quite sometime has its advantages.” He shrugged his shoulder and smiled.
“You haven’t changed at all, still the same man you were since then.” Brenda smiled at his temperament.
“How have you been doing Brenda? Still working as a lab assistant is it?” He raised an eyebrow curious of her answer.
“Sorry to disappoint you but now I am currently a cardiologist at the Medical Hospital here.” She smirked at him “So when you finally get a heart attack after using too much Viagra you can call me. I might be able to squeeze you in somewhere.” She snickered.
“No thanks.” He put his hands up, surrendering. “I’ve been too busy to even see anyone and after you no one seems good enough.” James put his hands down and looked at her with a serious face. “Are you seeing someone?”
“Well you could say was seeing someone until I found out he cheated on me.” She looked at the green grass trying to calm her sadness. “We were even just about to get married. Then he had to ruin it all.” She wrapped her arms around herself trying to feel the warmth she had lost.
“Brenda...” He wanted to say something but he was interrupted by the waiter who came to bring them their drinks. They both smiled politely at the waiter and then the waiter left them to their business. James stood up and went to Brenda, taking off his black jacket. He slipped his jacket on to Brenda’s shoulder saying “This should keep you warm.” Brenda looked up at him and smiled.
While they both were having a chat, they didn’t know someone was watching them. It was Brenda’s ex-fiancée, Mark. He also couldn’t let go of Brenda just like she couldn’t let go of him. But none of them knew that. He thought Brenda already moved on seeing her with James, laughing and smiling. He knew she would go here since she had been talking about it for quite sometime and it was among the closest inn there. He called Brenda’s mother and told her where Brenda was. After that he left not wanting to listen to Brenda’s side of the story.
Brenda thought she saw Mark and ran after him leaving James behind clueless of what’s going on. James went after her and finally she stopped looking around for Mark but saw no one. She was too late. She looked around and didn’t see a trace of Mark. “Where are you? Why are you doing this Mark? You betrayed me but why did I see you just now. What do you want to say to me?” So many question filled Brenda’s mind as she couldn’t actually hear what Mark was looking for. There were so many possibilities but which was the right one?
James looked at how desperate she was and thought “Brenda it’s the first time I’ve ever saw you look so distressed. Why did he walk away from you? He could have just got you back if he took the time to talk.” James felt pity for Brenda and jealous of the guy. When he broke up with her she wasn’t like that at all. She was completely fine even acting as if nothing happened. She didn’t chase him when he left that day. She just let him be. She changed so much for this person and yet why isn’t the feeling returned. “Brenda…” James called her, putting his hand on her shoulder and she turned around hoping it was Mark. However her hopes fell when she saw it was James and her expression changed back to sadness.
“It’s you James.” She tried to give a smile but it didn’t look she meant it at all. “I’m sorry. I thought I saw Mark, my ex-fiancee just now.” Her eyes started to swell with tears. James couldn’t stand it and pulled her into an embrace. “James I’m fine you don’t have to hug me.” She tried to push him away but James wouldn’t budge.
“No. You’re not fine Brenda. Stop kidding yourself. His different isn’t he?” James put his chin on her head. She shook her head and denied the truth of what she felt. He smirked and said “You still can’t see it can you. I’ve known you longer than anyone else have and I know you changed. You’re not the cold hearted person you were before. You changed for the better.” James loosened his hug a bit so he could look at her face to face. “I know you still lo…..” James mouth was shut by Brenda’s hands.
“Shut up, James.” Brenda looked away from him. “I don’t want to hear it.” James gave a sympathetic look to her and gave a nod. Brenda took her hands away from James mouth and looked at him. “I know.... What you were about to say but it doesn’t mean anything anymore. I can’t do anything anymore for exact. It’s maybe because I ran away before taking the time to talk him, but I can’t change the past. Anyway I think his mom would agree with his decision of not continuing with the engagement.” Brenda pushed herself out of James hold and looked at him with a blank face. “She hates me because she thinks I’m no good for him so it’s the best for both of us. He is free of me and I don’t want to yelled at by his mother anymore.” Brenda snickered and gave a broken smile to James. James stared at her with disbelief for who couldn’t see how broken down she was by her smile alone. Brenda just wanted the pain to disappear forever. She never even wanted to see Mark anymore. That’s why in the past she made sure she always kept a distance between everyone so it won’t hurt as much as it did now. She knew James knows better than to believe what she had said. He knew her better than she ever did or even anyone else.
James walked to closer to her and took her hand, putting it between both of his hand. He kissed it and let one of his hands go, putting it on his chest. “Remember this. We use to do it every time when one of us feels sad. It’s to remind us that we’re not alone.” James smiled at Brenda and she nods, giving a smile resembling her old self. It’s been such a long time since neither of them reminisced of the past. “Remember who made this? Because I’m pretty sure it was you who created this, to cheer me up. It was when we were both in primary school and my parents were always having fight which upset me. But no one knew except you, you’re the one who notice and saw me cry. You were a kid but you sat in front of me and did that. You know how grateful I was meeting you.” James gripped harder on her hand and looked into her eyes.
“No I never knew that….” She shook her head and looked at him, smiling. “I never thought you would still remember it.” She said those words so softly it sounded as if it was a whisper.
“How could I forget it? It was the reason I fell for you. You wouldn’t notice me so I had to flirt with other girls to make you jealous.” He smirked and her eyes were wide open surprise at what she heard. She gave him a disbelieving look and stared at him. “I’m not kidding. It took a while but finally you notice. However by then you didn’t really believe me because you thought I was a playboy.” James sighed and Brenda gave a nod, sniggering. “At least I made you smile. You look a lot better smiling than with a blank expression. It looked scary.” James rubbed his shoulder as if he had goose bumps.
“How about you let go of my hand and we go continue with our lunch?” James shook his head and instead of letting go of her hand, he threads their hands together pulling her to the café. They forgot of the incident that happened before and continued with their chat. After two months Brenda and Mark barely spoke or met each other both. They tried their best to avoid meeting each other. James and Brenda were currently close friends, without Brenda knowing her mother and James was planning on the proposal of James to Brenda. Her mother wanted Brenda to move on and be happy rather than be sad so she thought this was the best. James just went along with the plan seeing that he wanted to be with her all this time. Anyway the reason why Brenda and James broke up last time was because of a misunderstanding. But ever since it had been solved James and Brenda started to become closer while with Mark it started to get even worse.
Sadly the day came when Mark and Brenda couldn’t stop each other from meeting. It was the day Mark himself became her patient. The surgery went as planned and Mark was sent to the ICU. Brenda went to check on him, when suddenly Mark’s heart started to fail by itself. Brenda tried her best to save him but everything she did didn’t work. Slowly Mark started to drift away from Brenda grasps but just before he died Mark whispered “I’m sorry Brenda because I still love you and I want you to be happy.” Brenda didn’t stop trying but it was too late. She called the time of death and when to tell his mother. His mother didn’t believe it at first until she saw him. She shook Brenda hard and begged it wasn’t true. Then she started swearing on Brenda’s name and crying at the same time. Brenda looked down to the floor feeling shame and pain at the same time. He was the one she loved but in of all the people she saved, he was the only one she couldn’t keep alive. The nurses took Mark’s mother away from Brenda.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered before she walked out of the room. Brenda finally couldn’t stop the tear from falling and walked out of the hospital as fast as she could. She sat on one of the benches and started to cry. She blamed herself for Mark’s death even if it wasn’t her fault. The old lady she met before was beside her again with a concern look on her face. “How can you be here?” Brenda asked finding it almost impossible to believe to meet her again.
“Does that matter so much now child?” Brenda shook her head because it didn’t really matter she just wanted someone to cry on. You’re crying again but this time it’s for a different reason isn’t it.” The old lady pulled her to a comforting hug. “There...there… Child do you remember the story I told you about my husband.” Brenda gave a nod. “Well since he left the pain and loneliness never ends but the memories I had with him was priceless no matter whether it was good or bad. It always kept me company when things seemed little lonely. You child had to face something that came to me only after 49 years of our marriage. I won’t find it surprising to see you like this. Everyone has their way to grieve, mine was sitting in my room looking at all the pictures and memories I had with him. I might have sobbed and cried a few tears but that was because I already knew it would happen. You faced it when you usually think about getting married, getting kids and doing a great job. You never thought this would happen didn’t you.”
Brenda gave a nod and looked up to the old lady.” I always know people die at anytime. After working at a hospital and seeing people cry over the lost of someone everyday you know this would happen but you don’t know the pain until you feel it yourself.” Brenda looked down and asked “When would the pain and loneliness subside?
“That’s when you learn it will never end you just have to live with it but this time appreciate everyone you meet everyday. It’s because now you know one day they will leave you and you want to be left with no regrets, also with more happy memories to be reminded of.” The lady patted Brenda on the back softly and latter quietly started to fall asleep.
When she woke up she saw James who was sweating and panting with a worried expression on his face. “Brenda I was looking all over for you. Where have you been? Don’t you know it’s not safe to be sleeping just anywhere you want?”
Brenda smiled and quickly hugged James. “Thank you for worrying about me, James.” James was dumbfounded of Brenda’s reaction and had forgotten what he was so angry about before. “I’m sorry I just had to cry for a while.” She hugged James even closer, making him hug her back.
“You’re forgiven. Now are you okay?”
“As alright as I can ever be.” Brenda frowned realizing it was time for her to put her brave face on in front of Marks mother. James nudged his shoulder knowing that Brenda was reluctant to face the pain again. “Ouch! What’s that for?”
“To make you forget and stop frowning.” James smirked. “Brenda I’m here for you and I know I will never replace Mark but I will make you happy as long as I live.”
“Is that a proposal?” Brenda quirked an eyebrow thinking it was a joke.
“Was planning on a better day, time and place but yeah.” He shrugged his shoulder. “I think Mark will respect our marriage because when I met him by accident. He punched me on the face and was angry at first. But after that he said as long as you make Brenda happy I’m happy. Then he blackmailed me if I hurt you he would come and kill me. Can you believe that?” Brenda gave a nod and chuckled.
“That sounds just like him.”
After 1month Mark was buried, Brenda and James got engaged. They were planning to get married on the month Brenda and Mark were planning to get married to make a marriage that never happen to another that would stay as long as they live. They were thankful that they got Marks blessing and everyone else’s. On the 12th of December they both got married and lived like any married couple did. There were times when they fought over silly little thing but it always became a joke to them when they thought about it again. It isn’t always a happy ever after but when happiness comes for a visit it’s always welcomed and enjoyed, also celebrated by both of them.
The End
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